Christine, you hit it right out of the park with your first line - 'Engaging in soulful self-care is multifaceted.' While that might be daunting, it really is a lovely invitation to figure out what we need, what works for us, and how best to go in that direction.
It's hard to give to others when our wells are empty. Thanks for your multi-faceted approach. There is something here for anyone who wants to head in that direction. Love this post.
Thanks Linda, that line was a mouthful to speak when I was recording the audio for the post! There is so much to read/write on self-care that I find myself returning to that theme over and over. Glad you agree on the importance of it!
I needed this nudge and appreciate your guidance. I am intrigued by the I Am exercise (maybe because I love the Johannine gospel tradition -- ha ha) but am not sure which exercise you are point to at the end of the post. Can you help?
I bookmarked this last week and just went through and audited my self care/life and it was amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am on the right track but definitely have a few areas to work on!
Oh I'm so glad it was helpful for you. I always have a few areas to work on too! And just when I think I'm doing well, something happens to knock me off track a bit. It's a never ending process of balance!
This is a great article I want to bookmark. As a working mom I do find myself doing the revenge bedtime procrastination and find myself feeling empty and wish I would have done something more fulfilling with my time or just went to bed early to get caught up on sleep.
I know, that temptation is so real, I am with you in it. I have tried to put my phone down earlier and switch to my kindle, which helps. As well as turning my phone in gray-scale mode - it's not as enticing when the colors aren't so pretty!
Christine, I love your posts so much because they are so full of wisdom. Your prompts are so timely in that I will be returning to St Andrew's Abbey this weekend for a silent retreat. The depth of the revitalization of my body, my spirit, my soul is such a challenge for words (but I'll try!) and the returning to my thin place is the best self care I can think of. Thank you so much for this, friend.
Oh I cannot wait to hear about how your retreat goes. May it be a time of restoration for you! I am in the midst of writing a post on silence now (maybe it will be ready by the time you return). But I have never been on a silent retreat - it's on my bucket list!
Silent retreats are my jam. It feels like hitting a reset button on everything. I’m curious, as always to everything you write, how you approach the subject of silence.
Glad it's helpful! I teach about self-care a lot, and each time I pull out my questions for a lecture, I say to myself, "Oh yeah, I should probably be asking myself these questions more!"
At the recent Pilgrimage retreat, I set up this nice open schedule for everyone else but also opened *my* schedule at the same event for "complimentary" spiritual direction sessions, of which everyone availed themselves, so then I couldn't do any of the spiritual/self-care practices I set for everyone else. Ha. Not sure when the "next time" will be, but I will adjust my own and everyone else's expectations accordingly, whenever that is!
Oh no! We are so good at caring for others and forget that time to ourselves. Let me know when/where your next retreat if it's not too far from me - I can help with the complimentary SD time so that you get a break!
Oh that is SO very kind! I will definitely consider that. Thank you! It won’t be for at least two years; I start my DMin next fall, and there’s likely to be some other life-upheaval for a few months around that time, but I’m not entirely sure what, so I’m trying to keep the Pilgrimage schedule somewhat light during the first semester. (Plus, I see this DMin as an extension of the Pilgrimage work, so…) But I will keep you in mind. Thank you again.
Amen! Yesterday I was musing with someone about how Sabbath is good, but not everything or every season needs to be one, and how when we can’t get the rest, maybe the prayer needs to be for capacity. I think excitement is probably also an assist.
I love question #4 - what can I do today to care for myself tomorrow? As a mom I think that one can be easily forgotten because we live so much in the moment by moment. I'm thinking that through right now before the kids wake up.
Absolutely! So much of this has been hard-won knowledge as I've been trying to juggle work and kids. One of my go to caring for myself tomorrow tasks is setting up the babysitter for a date night, it takes a little effort, but future me is always grateful that I did it. I'll be curious to hear your answer(s)!
Yesterday, I was in the car by myself for two hours. I think I sand through the indigo girls first four albums. I was too loud, off key and did not know all the words. I barely noticed the traffic.
Haha, I love this! I can only ever sing in the car by myself now, because my children have realized I can't carry a tune in the bucket and will scoff at me if I try to sing in their presence.
Revenge bedtime procrastination reminds me of the functional freeze I experienced a few weeks ago! Thank you for this language and information to label and understand when I am looking to cope with a particularly tricky week. I loved this entire letter. 🙏
I like the term functional freeze as well, as it speaks to something else brewing underneath as a reason behind it. I know not everyone likes labels, but I find it so empowering to give a name to a dyanmic! It certainly normalizes it for me. I hope this week goes well for you!
Oh I am with you! Two piles of laundry. I've always loved Jack Kornfield's saying "After the ecstacy, the laundry" Although this week, there's no ecstacy, just mountains of clean clothes that have yet to be put away.
Love this article Christine! I am also filled with the idea of bringing Transcendent Care into the hospital for staff. I often feel very disconnected and only in survival mode in those times. I could really feel the urge to numb out this week. I went back to work for the first time (for a four hour shift, that was very pleasant), but the emotions leading up to it were very intense. I was tearful and panicked putting my scrubs on before the shift. Afterward, driving home, I could feel the craving for a beer and sugar, even though I haven't had anything to drink for about 4 months (I gave in to the sugar craving :)). A small victory for me was during the shift, each time I logged into the computer, I checked in with my needs. So if I was thirsty, I went to get a drink before moving on to the next thing. If I had to pee, I did that before going to see the next patient.
Oh I give into my sugar cravings all the time! I haven't found anyway out of that one yet, so you're in good company. It sounds like you developed some great self-care rituals in the midst of the day. I love that you paired it with logging into the computer - I bet others could benefit from a similar spiritual habit stacking. I've suggested others engage in mindfulness while washing their hands before! https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/blessing-of-the-hands
Christine, you hit it right out of the park with your first line - 'Engaging in soulful self-care is multifaceted.' While that might be daunting, it really is a lovely invitation to figure out what we need, what works for us, and how best to go in that direction.
It's hard to give to others when our wells are empty. Thanks for your multi-faceted approach. There is something here for anyone who wants to head in that direction. Love this post.
Thanks Linda, that line was a mouthful to speak when I was recording the audio for the post! There is so much to read/write on self-care that I find myself returning to that theme over and over. Glad you agree on the importance of it!
I needed this nudge and appreciate your guidance. I am intrigued by the I Am exercise (maybe because I love the Johannine gospel tradition -- ha ha) but am not sure which exercise you are point to at the end of the post. Can you help?
Glad the nudge was helpful to you. Yes, the I AM exercise is great and I've done it with Spiritual Directees before. It's at the end of this post - https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/divine-dialing-whats-your-calling
I bookmarked this last week and just went through and audited my self care/life and it was amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am on the right track but definitely have a few areas to work on!
Oh I'm so glad it was helpful for you. I always have a few areas to work on too! And just when I think I'm doing well, something happens to knock me off track a bit. It's a never ending process of balance!
Yes, this is definitely something I’ll be doing regularly!
Let me know how it goes and if you find things that help!
This is a great article I want to bookmark. As a working mom I do find myself doing the revenge bedtime procrastination and find myself feeling empty and wish I would have done something more fulfilling with my time or just went to bed early to get caught up on sleep.
I know, that temptation is so real, I am with you in it. I have tried to put my phone down earlier and switch to my kindle, which helps. As well as turning my phone in gray-scale mode - it's not as enticing when the colors aren't so pretty!
Christine, I love your posts so much because they are so full of wisdom. Your prompts are so timely in that I will be returning to St Andrew's Abbey this weekend for a silent retreat. The depth of the revitalization of my body, my spirit, my soul is such a challenge for words (but I'll try!) and the returning to my thin place is the best self care I can think of. Thank you so much for this, friend.
Oh I cannot wait to hear about how your retreat goes. May it be a time of restoration for you! I am in the midst of writing a post on silence now (maybe it will be ready by the time you return). But I have never been on a silent retreat - it's on my bucket list!
Silent retreats are my jam. It feels like hitting a reset button on everything. I’m curious, as always to everything you write, how you approach the subject of silence.
This is super timely (as I think you have perceived!). Thanks for this. I'll be bookmarking to come back to again.
Glad it's helpful! I teach about self-care a lot, and each time I pull out my questions for a lecture, I say to myself, "Oh yeah, I should probably be asking myself these questions more!"
At the recent Pilgrimage retreat, I set up this nice open schedule for everyone else but also opened *my* schedule at the same event for "complimentary" spiritual direction sessions, of which everyone availed themselves, so then I couldn't do any of the spiritual/self-care practices I set for everyone else. Ha. Not sure when the "next time" will be, but I will adjust my own and everyone else's expectations accordingly, whenever that is!
Oh no! We are so good at caring for others and forget that time to ourselves. Let me know when/where your next retreat if it's not too far from me - I can help with the complimentary SD time so that you get a break!
Oh that is SO very kind! I will definitely consider that. Thank you! It won’t be for at least two years; I start my DMin next fall, and there’s likely to be some other life-upheaval for a few months around that time, but I’m not entirely sure what, so I’m trying to keep the Pilgrimage schedule somewhat light during the first semester. (Plus, I see this DMin as an extension of the Pilgrimage work, so…) But I will keep you in mind. Thank you again.
Lots going on! May the excitement be more powerful than the overwhelm!
Amen! Yesterday I was musing with someone about how Sabbath is good, but not everything or every season needs to be one, and how when we can’t get the rest, maybe the prayer needs to be for capacity. I think excitement is probably also an assist.
I love question #4 - what can I do today to care for myself tomorrow? As a mom I think that one can be easily forgotten because we live so much in the moment by moment. I'm thinking that through right now before the kids wake up.
Absolutely! So much of this has been hard-won knowledge as I've been trying to juggle work and kids. One of my go to caring for myself tomorrow tasks is setting up the babysitter for a date night, it takes a little effort, but future me is always grateful that I did it. I'll be curious to hear your answer(s)!
Yesterday, I was in the car by myself for two hours. I think I sand through the indigo girls first four albums. I was too loud, off key and did not know all the words. I barely noticed the traffic.
Haha, I love this! I can only ever sing in the car by myself now, because my children have realized I can't carry a tune in the bucket and will scoff at me if I try to sing in their presence.
Revenge bedtime procrastination reminds me of the functional freeze I experienced a few weeks ago! Thank you for this language and information to label and understand when I am looking to cope with a particularly tricky week. I loved this entire letter. 🙏
I like the term functional freeze as well, as it speaks to something else brewing underneath as a reason behind it. I know not everyone likes labels, but I find it so empowering to give a name to a dyanmic! It certainly normalizes it for me. I hope this week goes well for you!
These are really excellent questions, and number 4 has me considering that it's finally time to put the clean laundry away....
Oh I am with you! Two piles of laundry. I've always loved Jack Kornfield's saying "After the ecstacy, the laundry" Although this week, there's no ecstacy, just mountains of clean clothes that have yet to be put away.
May ecstacy surprise us all :)
Amen!
Thank you for these important insights for everyone and especially for those in the in “caring professions “
Thanks for reading Sharon! I know you can relate, as can your husband!
Love this article Christine! I am also filled with the idea of bringing Transcendent Care into the hospital for staff. I often feel very disconnected and only in survival mode in those times. I could really feel the urge to numb out this week. I went back to work for the first time (for a four hour shift, that was very pleasant), but the emotions leading up to it were very intense. I was tearful and panicked putting my scrubs on before the shift. Afterward, driving home, I could feel the craving for a beer and sugar, even though I haven't had anything to drink for about 4 months (I gave in to the sugar craving :)). A small victory for me was during the shift, each time I logged into the computer, I checked in with my needs. So if I was thirsty, I went to get a drink before moving on to the next thing. If I had to pee, I did that before going to see the next patient.
Oh I give into my sugar cravings all the time! I haven't found anyway out of that one yet, so you're in good company. It sounds like you developed some great self-care rituals in the midst of the day. I love that you paired it with logging into the computer - I bet others could benefit from a similar spiritual habit stacking. I've suggested others engage in mindfulness while washing their hands before! https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/blessing-of-the-hands