Divine Dialing: What’s Your Calling?
Yes you have one, no, it doesn’t have to be your job.
Christian clergy tend to talk a lot about vocation as a calling. Meaning the job that we do is a “call” from God. I wish it were as clear as answering our cell phones and receiving a step-by-step plan from the Almighty about how we are to live the entirety of our working lives. It’s not quite that straightforward.
I shared my “call story” here.
But what I left out from that polished account were all the twists and turns, doubts and uncertainties I had along the way. There was lots of hand wringing and wondering. Maybe even some cursing. It only makes for a good, finished version of a story now because I’m looking at it retrospectively, decades later.
When we are in the midst of something, it’s hard to make meaning of it, or realize our purpose. Also our callings evolve and change. Mine has evolved even since I wrote it down. Sometimes calling can be persnickety to figure out. It might also feel lofty or grand to claim for ourselves, but it is there.
This might sound overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. And clergy don’t have the corner on calling, it is applicable to everyone Even though it can feel elusive, we can still work to identify and discern the callings in our lives.
What is a “calling”?
A calling is traditionally defined as divine summoning to a particular path or role. The concept is rooted in the Latin word “vocare” meaning “to call.” To feel called is to feel a deep sense of purpose and direction in pursuing a vocation.
Although this may describe some callings, I believe that a calling can encompass more than just a job or career. It signifies a holistic integration of one's spirituality with their passions, talents and sense of service.
All of us have callings - not just ordained ministers. And these invitations to live out our purpose can emerge in different ways. Oprah Winfrey describes it like this,
“I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. ”
Barriers to claiming our callings
Although sometimes we can easily find those things we love and are able to freely offer to others, we may also find barriers to claiming our callings. But it is worth opening ourselves up to finding them - even if it feels audacious. Our unique talents and interests are meant to be shared, enriching both our lives and the lives of those around us.
Your call can be different things at different times. And it might take you a while to figure it out. One of my patients, Ruby, discovered one of her callings in her 90s. I invite you to re(read) her story that I wrote about here (spoiler, she’s a psychic).
Perhaps you don’t possess any supernatural gifts or unique talents. You can’t see the future or cure cancer or win an Olympic medal. You still have a calling. But if you’re expecting a call to be some earth-shattering thing, then you may be missing exactly what you’re called to do, using the gifts you have with the people in your life.
There are some who are fortunate enough to have their day jobs match their passions. Others have meaningful hobbies or ways that they interact with families or communities. Some of us might try to live out our callings wherever we find ourselves.
The “essential human calling”
You might be inspired by how Bishop
defines calling in his book Looking for God in Messy Places,“The essential human calling is to love God by loving what God loves, how God loves it.”
“…our calling is to be the image of God in whatever occupation, situation or set of circumstances in which we find ourselves.”
I love this sentiment for both its groundedness and expansiveness. Especially because I believe God loves so very many things, including plenty of things that I’m not so fond of. But divine adoration is beyond my comprehension.
Here’s a story of a co-worker of mine who embodied the image of God in a literal messy place.
Pete was an EVS worker (EVS = Environmental Services worker, aka hospital custodian) who took his job seriously. While he would not say that he was passionate about mopping floors and making beds, he was passionate about people. He saw his role as preparing the space for the patients. He frequently whistled hymns while cleaning an empty room.
“I can clean the room, but also try to make it happier while I’m here” he told me. His small act reminded me of a ritual of cleansing the space. When Pete entered a patient’s room to empty the garbage, he always asked the patient how they were. “Sometimes I’m the only one that they are talking to for a while, so I try to help them have a smile on their face.” Pete was known throughout the hospital for his own smile, as it was quite contagious. Everyone knew his name and would greet him in the hallways.
One evening I was in the Emergency Department consoling a family whose son had just died from a car accident. I went to get the family some water and noticed Pete in the trauma bay where the son was originally brought in. He was cleaning up the blood on the floor while softly humming a somber funeral hymn. Pete wasn’t usually in that part of the hospital. He had asked to switch with the custodian normally assigned there because she had just buried her mother. Pete thought it would be too hard for her, so he took over. Not only was he preparing the space for the next patient, but he was honoring the one who departed and caring for his colleague, all at the same time.
Pete’s calling was acknowledging everyone he met as worthy of a smile and consecrating sanitized spaces with sacred music. In his steady and compassionate presence, Pete loved God’s people.
Daily callings
We can’t all impact people the way that Oprah does. Or even as much as Ruby and Pete did. I believe calling has quieter moments too. Perhaps it feels too overwhelming to look at the entirety of our lives, or we find our identities or situations shifting and uncertain. I encourage you to ponder it from a micro level rather than a macro level.
What might a bite-sized sense of calling look like? What are you called to do today, right now? Do you feel a divine pull toward something? Is there an idea that is springing to mind in very this moment?
Maybe it’s the urge to pick up a paintbrush or write a substack post. Or call a friend who’s been suffering. Perhaps it’s a desire to spend intentional time with a loved one or donate to a local non-profit. The possibilities are endless and up to you to discern. And there’s no wrong answer.
Finding your calling
So how do we go about finding our daily or life-long purpose?
Author and educator Parker Palmer literally wrote the book on finding one’s vocation and he notes,
"Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am."
As with most things, self-awareness can help us be in touch with our calling(s). But I don’t think this necessarily involves years of hard-won wisdom. We can do it in 5-10 minutes!
An exercise that my spiritual directees have found meaningful is engaging in the I AM lists.
I ask “Who are you?”
And they reply “I am ______”
I respond, “You are _______”
And then I ask again, “Who are you?” and we repeat for up to 5-10 minutes.
If you have a conversation partner, you might try it with them. Or you can do it on your own, just setting a timer for 5 minutes and repeating “I am” with different endings each time.
It sounds so simple but can bring forth some profound discoveries. For instance, when some people start you might begin by listing certain roles or identities. (I’ll pepper in my examples to give you a sense of how it might go).
I am a mother.
I am a chaplain.
I am a beekeeper.
But after you exhaust those, you might move to characteristics about yourself or things you value, ie:
I am compassionate.
I am a lover of chocolate.
I am tired.
And as you’re still going and trying to fill more space, you may find yourself being surprised by what comes up. This is where I encourage you to say things out loud and just keep saying the I AMs in a stream of consciousness, as you may unearth something new.
I am worthy of care.
I am dreaming of what’s next.
I am longing for transcendence.
As we list more of what we are, we can be more in touch with who we are. And who we are called to be.
This is a wonderful, wise, insightful post. I'm sharing it with my Commission on Ministry (that's our name for the group who helps with discernment for people hearing a call to ministry lay or ordained. And thanks for sharing some of my thoughts about calling. It would be fun to do a deep dive together about calling and discernment for my podcast.
I did a similar exercise a while back with my spiritual director and that is one of the first times that I came to see one of my core "I am's" is "I am a seer and sharer of beauty." I have come to hold that as one of my primary callings in my life.
It still drives me nuts when I hear people talk about my role as a pastor as a "higher calling" - ugh. I usually try to use that as a conversation entry into helping them get a glimpse into some of their own sense of call.