I am so moved by this piece Christine! Not an easy subject to talk about and yet it's so important and universal. This is a topic I reflect on a lot in my own writing. One of the things that surprised me most about grief is how it shifted my entire perspective on life - being confronted with the impermanence of life, while scary, has the power to inspire us to live with intention and make the most of the time we are given. You've done a brilliant job distilling the key points in a way that is deeply heartfelt and incredibly practical!
Thanks Ruthie! You are absolutely right, it can be scary, but also inspiring! I just read your recent post and much of your #5 of things you didn't know about grief is so similar! I'm posting it here so I can come back to it and in case others want to read it:
Love this as I love all your posts, Christine. I appreciated your returning the context to Mary Oliver's poem. The last few lines are overused as an inspirational quote, but it's truly much more somber & contemplative than that.
Thanks Beth Anne! I will confess, when I first heard the lines (out of context) that's what I thought it was referring to as well, but a different mindset brings a different outcome!
Oh that makes my day to hear that! I grew up with a speech impediment and some funky inherited family accents, so it's always an act of courage to record myself (and I never ever listen to it afterwards!)
I love all your letters, and this one hits home too. The message of Death has been around me the past month or so. With my husband’s reversion to Islam, his studies of Religion at school, to your letter here and dreams of my departed friend …
I’m so inspired by your vocation, CVD.
I find myself wanting to explore your career, while also being very afraid of the emotional burden you must somehow balance with your personal life.
I’ll go back and check, but if you have not already- would you consider sharing advice about how you manage to be in your role (profession) while maintaining energy for your personal life?
Sometimes I am amazed by the synchronicity of how things show up in our lives and in our inboxes! I am happy to talk more about turning you into a chaplain and/or spiritual director, whenever you'd like! I'm not sure I've written a post quite like what you're asking, but I will think about it and see what comes up for a future post.
Christine, I'm so glad I found you through Victoria's post on https://substack.com/@carermentor. Your writing and reflecting on Buddhist teaching really resonated with me.
My grasshopper moment was during my walk today when a toddler riding on his bike waved and said hi to me in his helium voice. That made me smile.
Being a journaler, I'll probably write about all of your prompts. Love them!
The thought of impermanence and holding onto the physical possessions is something I have been working on. Your words have inspired me to release more of what binds me to the permanence of life. Thank you!
Christine, you bring your depth of compassionate experience and deep wisdom to your writing. I always leave here having gleaned something that was missing from my own experience or knowledge. Thank you.
If thinking about death helps us to live, and thinking about life helps us to die. how about living until we die knowing that we're closer to death every day? With no fear of death, the freedom to live is not circumscribed by death. It's not so much about when we will die, or even how but rather all we're able to do until then. Until then....and now, I must get on with it.
I’ve always said that I want to live my life so that I die with no regrets. Because I could die at anytime. The impermanence makes the sweet so much sweeter.
What a great mantra about not having regrets. You will appreciate this line that I edited out - Since life is short, I've learned never to pass up on dessert!
I find interesting the timing of God in my life. For instance, reading this today hits home more than it might have on another day. A friend fell and hit her head. We all prayed for her and the week proved long, but yesterday, God decided it was time for her to go home to Him.
Everything here on this earth is temporary. Even this earth will be replaced by a new one. We can't guarantee we will have tomorrow let alone the next breath. We can guarantee what we leave behind by how we live for however long God gives us. My friend did that. Despite being sad, I want to laugh more with the joy she put into the world. Of course, I'm having tears blurring my vision as I type this, but I'm also able to smile in my mourning, knowing the blessing she was to all of us who knew her.
Althea, thank you for sharing about your friend and the way you honor her by living life fully today. May you find comfort in your grief and may the temporality of our being continue to inspire meaning and purpose for you.
Wonderful post. So much wisdom
Thanks Hayley. It's certainly a delicate topic, but I'm glad it resonated with you!
I am so moved by this piece Christine! Not an easy subject to talk about and yet it's so important and universal. This is a topic I reflect on a lot in my own writing. One of the things that surprised me most about grief is how it shifted my entire perspective on life - being confronted with the impermanence of life, while scary, has the power to inspire us to live with intention and make the most of the time we are given. You've done a brilliant job distilling the key points in a way that is deeply heartfelt and incredibly practical!
Thanks Ruthie! You are absolutely right, it can be scary, but also inspiring! I just read your recent post and much of your #5 of things you didn't know about grief is so similar! I'm posting it here so I can come back to it and in case others want to read it:
https://ruhievaidya.substack.com/p/5-things-about-grief-i-never-expected
Thanks so much Christine! I'm so glad to hear it resonated with you :)
Love this as I love all your posts, Christine. I appreciated your returning the context to Mary Oliver's poem. The last few lines are overused as an inspirational quote, but it's truly much more somber & contemplative than that.
Thanks Beth Anne! I will confess, when I first heard the lines (out of context) that's what I thought it was referring to as well, but a different mindset brings a different outcome!
You have such a lovely voice, Christine! I listened to you read this post and was so blessed, at so many levels. Thank you!
Oh that makes my day to hear that! I grew up with a speech impediment and some funky inherited family accents, so it's always an act of courage to record myself (and I never ever listen to it afterwards!)
I love all your letters, and this one hits home too. The message of Death has been around me the past month or so. With my husband’s reversion to Islam, his studies of Religion at school, to your letter here and dreams of my departed friend …
I’m so inspired by your vocation, CVD.
I find myself wanting to explore your career, while also being very afraid of the emotional burden you must somehow balance with your personal life.
I’ll go back and check, but if you have not already- would you consider sharing advice about how you manage to be in your role (profession) while maintaining energy for your personal life?
Xx
Sometimes I am amazed by the synchronicity of how things show up in our lives and in our inboxes! I am happy to talk more about turning you into a chaplain and/or spiritual director, whenever you'd like! I'm not sure I've written a post quite like what you're asking, but I will think about it and see what comes up for a future post.
Christine, I'm so glad I found you through Victoria's post on https://substack.com/@carermentor. Your writing and reflecting on Buddhist teaching really resonated with me.
My grasshopper moment was during my walk today when a toddler riding on his bike waved and said hi to me in his helium voice. That made me smile.
Being a journaler, I'll probably write about all of your prompts. Love them!
The thought of impermanence and holding onto the physical possessions is something I have been working on. Your words have inspired me to release more of what binds me to the permanence of life. Thank you!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Victoria has introduced me to the greatest people here on substack!
I can totally visualize your grasshopper moment and it brings me delight to think about it.
I’m glad the post resonated with you and I’d be curious to hear what you glean from your journaling!
I agree! I will definitely let you know what comes through in my journaling. Important prompts to continually go back to!
Christine, you bring your depth of compassionate experience and deep wisdom to your writing. I always leave here having gleaned something that was missing from my own experience or knowledge. Thank you.
Thanks so much Linda!
This post is lovely and timely for me. I'll be linking to you in my thoughts that go out on Wednesday!
Thanks Shannon, I look forward to reading your work and reflections!
If thinking about death helps us to live, and thinking about life helps us to die. how about living until we die knowing that we're closer to death every day? With no fear of death, the freedom to live is not circumscribed by death. It's not so much about when we will die, or even how but rather all we're able to do until then. Until then....and now, I must get on with it.
Thanks Gary, there is much to chew on here!
😄 Chew away and let me know how it tastes. This goes to not how many years in your life, but how much life in your years. Attributed to Lincoln.
This was a beautiful reflection in many ways. Thank you!
Thanks Brianna. It can be hard to reflect on, but worth it!
Wise and insightful as always!
Thanks, it was perfectly timed with our conversation!
Beautiful and so true.
I recently read, The Way We Live is the Way We Die - written by the aunt of my SIL - WoW - so deep and yet, so simple!
Wait, Pema Chodron is your SIL's aunt? How did I not know that!? It is an awesome book, I found myself hightling about half of what she wrote!
I’ve always said that I want to live my life so that I die with no regrets. Because I could die at anytime. The impermanence makes the sweet so much sweeter.
What a great mantra about not having regrets. You will appreciate this line that I edited out - Since life is short, I've learned never to pass up on dessert!
I find interesting the timing of God in my life. For instance, reading this today hits home more than it might have on another day. A friend fell and hit her head. We all prayed for her and the week proved long, but yesterday, God decided it was time for her to go home to Him.
Everything here on this earth is temporary. Even this earth will be replaced by a new one. We can't guarantee we will have tomorrow let alone the next breath. We can guarantee what we leave behind by how we live for however long God gives us. My friend did that. Despite being sad, I want to laugh more with the joy she put into the world. Of course, I'm having tears blurring my vision as I type this, but I'm also able to smile in my mourning, knowing the blessing she was to all of us who knew her.
Althea, thank you for sharing about your friend and the way you honor her by living life fully today. May you find comfort in your grief and may the temporality of our being continue to inspire meaning and purpose for you.
Wise and insightful as always!