24 Comments

I love your list CVD. I learned in the wake of my BIL to be specific about how to offer my sister with help- just like you say!

Everything from above hits home and is thoughtful, my favorite is leaving food/gifts at the door with a text so that there is no social obligation. Truly a blessing. Thank you 🙏

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I'm sure you have lots you can add to this list! Including your own book, that would be a great resource for anyone who is trying to heal. Can you add the link here so others can add it to their carts?

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I absolutely love this list Christine ❤️ Such great ideas, insights, and suggestions.

I’ve had similar thoughts the past few weeks… about people in pain coming into the holiday season quite probably without much, if any, support. I have a free text message service that would be a good addition to your list. There’s no catch… it’s really free, no payment information is required, and subscribers will not be added to my email list (unless they specifically check the box requesting to be added). The link is here: https://transformations-cc.com/sign-up-grief-support/

Thank you again for this list. I’m saving it for future reference and to share often 🤓💕

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Oh what a fantastic resource, thanks for sharing it here!

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This is so incredible Jennifer. Ty for sharing 🤍

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Great list. I’d also add that being an open and supportive place to talk about the person who has died can be such a gift at points during grief. Too often those of us feel like we can’t talk about the lost loved one for fear of bringing other people down. This is a secondary loss, self-editing mention of our grief. But talking about my dead parents with people who knew them buys me and keeps me connected. People who ask for and share stories of people I’ve lost have been hugely helpful to my healing.

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Thank you for this pearl of wisdom! So many of the chaplain interns I work with are afraid to ask about someone's grief or avoid mentioning the loss in the fear that it will bring up pain, but I try to convince them that the opposite is true. I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you hold your grief in this holiday season.

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This list is wonderful. Thank you. I am a particular fan of housekeeping services.

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Yes, that is one of my favorites too! When I've done it for friends who live far away, I've been surprised at how easy it is to set up and what an impact it can have on someone's mood.

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I’m bookmarking this post. Your gift list is very useful, even to give to those who are not grieving. Thanks, Christine!

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That is true, most people would be happy to receive any of these gifts!

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This is so good and helpful!!

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Thanks Kimberly. As a pastor, you've no doubt facilitated many of these gifts in the past.

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Thank you for this excellent list Christine.

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Thanks Donna, I thought I'd try something a little different in advance of the holiday season!

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I love that book by Jan Richardson and have gifted it.

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Isn't it wonderful? The other day I bought her book Circle of Grace and accidentally ordered two copies. When I went to return one to Amazon told me to keep it, now I'm gifting that book this Xmas to a friend!

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This is terrific, and I shared parts of it for morning reflection with our clinical staff today! At the end of the Jan Richardson blessing, our DON (who does *not * suffer fools), sighed deeply, and said, “that was good.” So THANK YOU for caring for another clinical setting from across a couple hundred miles!

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That makes my heart so happy to know that other departments are benefiting from her beautiful words! In fact, we have our monthly staff meeting this Tuesday and I was planning to read her Horizon poem, which is also a good one!

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Thank you, Christine, you're a Pro-gifter ;-) The flowers, the food tip- so true!

Also, well-intentioned food parcels can cause mayhem. Please let friends and family know that sending food/gifts via Amazon or another parcel person invokes a whole load of issues (especially around the holiday season), with the potential of missed parcels and tracking causing extra issues. (imagine numerous calls from senders etc) ;-)

An added complication for us, is needing everyone to mask and be mindful of the vulnerable immunocompromised state of my mother.

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Ah, that's an excellent point. I know at times people have sent grocery deliveries, and that has been tough with timing or needing to let someone inside. It is a good reminder to always check first about whether this would be a welcome gift!

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Thanks, Christine. Yes, perishables can be a pain! e-gift cards are good because several friends love to shop online from the comfort of their couch, in post-Xmas sales, but that's only good for my friends in the UK. Even those can cause issues for some people.

As you've already pointed out, it's always best to check.

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Oh that's a good tip! My sister lives in the UK (don't know if I told you that) and she was recently recovering from emergency surgery - and it was tough to be able to find somethings from here to send to her, so it definitely can be more difficult when trying to support someone on the other side of the pond!

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I'm so sorry to hear your sister had to have surgery! Marks and Spencers, John Lewis or Amazon gift card (UK shop) are my GoTos.

Clothes or food can get delivered as and when they want.

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