Absolutely wonderful words. I'm a retired pastor (with work in churches, campus ministry, and many years in hospice) . . . and I do/did prefer funerals over weddings. However! There were many delightful, truth-swaddled moments with weddings that are forever precious in my memory. One fellow, the guy who did repair work on the church's copy machine, asked me to marry him. Simple, he and his bride pleaded. Quiet. Low-key. It occurred in my office, appropriately done a few steps away from the copy machine. Oh, the stories we can tell. Thank you, Christine, for sharing some of yours!!!
Such a tender, tender piece, Christine. I worked for a short time as an assistant pastor for a church that served as an outreach to the homeless. Did my fair share of funerals but not one wedding. Broke my heart doing the funerals since the homeless were a very tight community. Your last wedding story had me in tears…and that poem…gosh. Thank you for the loving, intimate memories you shared with this.
I will never forget the wedding I planned with you and one couple on the MICU. It was a deeply impactful experience for me in my first unit of CPE. In fact that moment of journeying alongside is one of the main reasons I came back for a residency. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Yes, parts of that story came to mind as I wrote this one up. Always so tender. And so glad you did a residency with us, now we just have to get you into a CEC program!
Wow. What a beautiful moment to witness and help to create and it's exactly the kind of stuff that makes this clergy person prefer funerals. There are less expectations and more room for the holiness as we deal with things that we just don't really understand. I will never read this poem the same way though. Thank you for that gift.
oh my. i leave here kind of quiet, reflective, in awe.
(except to say that yes, I was a bridezilla at my mom's funeral, insisting that they move the casket to be centered on the cross that hung on the wall instead of all akimbo. more than a few people shook their heads.)
It's funny, as soon as I wrote that line, I thought, actually I know there are funeral bridezlilas/groomzillas as well - although I think we are more forgiving of that sort of stance, because we know the person is in deep grief and feeling completely out of control (versus just concerned with how the wedding photos will turn out or what the guests will think).
Your beautiful story telling brought tears to me, Christine. Thank you for bringing this story to us. The unique and sacred moments of life for those in the ICU - a place that no one ever wants to be - are often difficult to describe unless one has worked or volunteered there. Thank you for this moving piece.
Absolutely wonderful words. I'm a retired pastor (with work in churches, campus ministry, and many years in hospice) . . . and I do/did prefer funerals over weddings. However! There were many delightful, truth-swaddled moments with weddings that are forever precious in my memory. One fellow, the guy who did repair work on the church's copy machine, asked me to marry him. Simple, he and his bride pleaded. Quiet. Low-key. It occurred in my office, appropriately done a few steps away from the copy machine. Oh, the stories we can tell. Thank you, Christine, for sharing some of yours!!!
What a beautiful story and meaningful pastoral act! Thanks for reading! I've been enjoying your substack and plan to read your book soon!
Such a tender, tender piece, Christine. I worked for a short time as an assistant pastor for a church that served as an outreach to the homeless. Did my fair share of funerals but not one wedding. Broke my heart doing the funerals since the homeless were a very tight community. Your last wedding story had me in tears…and that poem…gosh. Thank you for the loving, intimate memories you shared with this.
Oh what important ministry to care for those stigmatized by society and honor them in death and support the community.
Very touching. Brought me to tears.
Thanks Stephen, I'm sure you have similar stories.
This was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it. And for doing the work that you do ❤️
Thanks Amber! And I'm grateful for the work you do! Lord knows I'd be lost without my therapist!
I will never forget the wedding I planned with you and one couple on the MICU. It was a deeply impactful experience for me in my first unit of CPE. In fact that moment of journeying alongside is one of the main reasons I came back for a residency. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Yes, parts of that story came to mind as I wrote this one up. Always so tender. And so glad you did a residency with us, now we just have to get you into a CEC program!
Of course I cried, but I also felt the joy of the family along with the bride and groom. Thank you for sharing.
It is indeed so bittersweet. Thanks for reading and crying with me.
Wow. What a beautiful moment to witness and help to create and it's exactly the kind of stuff that makes this clergy person prefer funerals. There are less expectations and more room for the holiness as we deal with things that we just don't really understand. I will never read this poem the same way though. Thank you for that gift.
Yes, that is another good reason to prefer funerals, I love how you put it "more room for the holiness."
I love officiating at weddings too, but never had one break my heart as much as this one.
Yes, heartbreaking is a good word for it. And glad to hear you are a rarity like me!
oh my. i leave here kind of quiet, reflective, in awe.
(except to say that yes, I was a bridezilla at my mom's funeral, insisting that they move the casket to be centered on the cross that hung on the wall instead of all akimbo. more than a few people shook their heads.)
It's funny, as soon as I wrote that line, I thought, actually I know there are funeral bridezlilas/groomzillas as well - although I think we are more forgiving of that sort of stance, because we know the person is in deep grief and feeling completely out of control (versus just concerned with how the wedding photos will turn out or what the guests will think).
Thank you for your ministry and sharing these words.
Thanks for reading!
So sad and so beautiful.
Yes, it really is both in one. Joy and woe.
Your beautiful story telling brought tears to me, Christine. Thank you for bringing this story to us. The unique and sacred moments of life for those in the ICU - a place that no one ever wants to be - are often difficult to describe unless one has worked or volunteered there. Thank you for this moving piece.
Thanks Beth, it helps me to know that the tears bring back those powerful memories and experiences for you!