One of the blessings of emergency medicine is that when I'm not at work, I'm never at work. I might have to stay late, but once I'm home, someone else is handling it. I think the struggle for me is more being able to shift gears between work and home, to not let the stress of the day leak out at the wrong person or when and what to share about a hard day. Also, I'm not always the most sympathetic about kid maladies. For example, my daughter has an egg allergy (which, thankfully has quite mild symptoms), so in my mind it's not a "real" allergy because it's not life threatening. I long to hear someone say "Don't Carry It All", but then also step in and actually start carrying some shit :)
Not too much. I would say I get more annoyed by family who asks for my opinion then disregards it (which is totally within their right to do, gather information and then make a decision, but it lands like they aren’t taking me seriously :))
Oh the morgue visits! How I remember some of those and the accompanying conversations. I remember a panicked Summer CPE chaplain, “I can’t find the baby, I can’t find the baby! It’s not in the drawer!”
I’ve taken a work call outside of an indoor trampoline place but I just work for nonprofits. I always need to hear that I haven’t wrecked my kids lives after having dealt with depression for most of the time.
I have done work writing inside trampoline parks, as my kids are entertained and I can sneak in some productivity (with noise canceling headphones or listening to music, because those places are loud!)
You definitely have not wrecked your kids lives! I think that is a common fear many of us share, regardless of the underlying reasons behind it.
Thanks friend. I’m in the middle of an MDiv degree and did seminary homework at trampoline parks while pregnant with our 3rd son (he was born in October). Gotta get it done! I think many mamas think they have to put their dreams on hold when they have kids. Nope!
It’s probably the parenting calls that take the cake for weirdest locations. Recently, I got one from the guidance counselor while in a flour mill. The school nurse has an uncanny ability to call me when I’m fully suited up in PPE in poultry plants, always while in another state.
Your substack made me think of my favorite song from the Broadway show "Hamilton." "It's Quiet Uptown is sung in the second act and the combination of lyrics and music get me in the feels every time. https://youtu.be/vjEoOeXId1k
I cried my eyes out the first time I heard that song and then when I saw it in the theater, I was a mess! 😭😭😭 Also, it just made my day that something I wrote reminded you of the magical genius of Hamilton! 😁
Christine, I am in awe of all moms who can be the best moms they can be and still devote time to work or a passion. The perseverance, patience and love that is required is mind-boggling and humbling to behold. Thank you for this intimate portrait, friend.
Thanks, we are doing the best we can! Sometimes the patience is in short supply (especially when my children are driving me up the wall!) but hopefully the love still comes through!
I definitely feel you on this one! When my first was an infant I worked in residential for a year and then in an intensive outpatient DBT program for 2 years. I remember having to take phone calls about hospitalizing a suicidal teenager and putting my toddler in the stroller to push around outside, just so he was secured and entertained so I could try to manage the crisis. It was awful. That’s why I started working for myself in private practice- more flexible, I choose my hours and workload, and I work mostly virtually now. So much better and so grateful that it works for my family and still feels fulfilling for me professionally.
Oh I can picture that, literally having to push a stroller and talk on the phone is a struggle, let alone the emotional depths of it! I'm glad you have more flexibility now in private practice. That is some of why I started my spiritual direction practice on the side, in the hopes that it would be a better balance one day. And of course my 7 year old came in demanding snacks as one of my clients (on zoom) was in the middle of sharing something deep and crying! 🤦♀️
Thank you, Christine, for this lovely piece. Yes, I also still cut the grapes. And I wish I would know where to get an epi pen, just in case!
I have taken a work call on vacation on key west with roasters crowing loudly in the back ground. Some how I felt embarrassed for this set up 😇
Also I feel funny to not have much to juggle career and home as I left out much of the career part or it at least feels like it when being self employed. How could I even complain??
One of the blessings of emergency medicine is that when I'm not at work, I'm never at work. I might have to stay late, but once I'm home, someone else is handling it. I think the struggle for me is more being able to shift gears between work and home, to not let the stress of the day leak out at the wrong person or when and what to share about a hard day. Also, I'm not always the most sympathetic about kid maladies. For example, my daughter has an egg allergy (which, thankfully has quite mild symptoms), so in my mind it's not a "real" allergy because it's not life threatening. I long to hear someone say "Don't Carry It All", but then also step in and actually start carrying some shit :)
That is one nice thing to be "off the clock" but the emotional load from the day is still so strong! I am in that with you!
Do you also get a lot of people from your personal life asking you about their medical conditions?
Not too much. I would say I get more annoyed by family who asks for my opinion then disregards it (which is totally within their right to do, gather information and then make a decision, but it lands like they aren’t taking me seriously :))
Don‘t carry it all, dear Amy 😇
Oh the morgue visits! How I remember some of those and the accompanying conversations. I remember a panicked Summer CPE chaplain, “I can’t find the baby, I can’t find the baby! It’s not in the drawer!”
(I hope that’s not too much to share!)
Thats where black humor comes from 😎
Definitely! The other day one of our chaplains walked into our office as we were laughing and asked what we were talking about - "Crying and death"
Right?! We have such weird conversations without even realizing it, normal to us, but strange to the rest of the world!
I’ve taken a work call outside of an indoor trampoline place but I just work for nonprofits. I always need to hear that I haven’t wrecked my kids lives after having dealt with depression for most of the time.
I have done work writing inside trampoline parks, as my kids are entertained and I can sneak in some productivity (with noise canceling headphones or listening to music, because those places are loud!)
You definitely have not wrecked your kids lives! I think that is a common fear many of us share, regardless of the underlying reasons behind it.
Thanks friend. I’m in the middle of an MDiv degree and did seminary homework at trampoline parks while pregnant with our 3rd son (he was born in October). Gotta get it done! I think many mamas think they have to put their dreams on hold when they have kids. Nope!
Very much a juggle! And good luck with that MDiv!
I think you have not wrecked your kids lives, dear Joelle. Seeing mom dealing with depression is much better than to see her not deal with it 😎
Thanks friend 🤎
It’s probably the parenting calls that take the cake for weirdest locations. Recently, I got one from the guidance counselor while in a flour mill. The school nurse has an uncanny ability to call me when I’m fully suited up in PPE in poultry plants, always while in another state.
I am laughing at that image! Also, good for you for answering those phone calls. I sometimes send them to voicemail and make B deal with them!
This is really good 🙏🏼
That means so much to me, especially since you are such an expert on trauma and vulnerability! Thanks for reading and subscribing! ♥️
Your substack made me think of my favorite song from the Broadway show "Hamilton." "It's Quiet Uptown is sung in the second act and the combination of lyrics and music get me in the feels every time. https://youtu.be/vjEoOeXId1k
I cried my eyes out the first time I heard that song and then when I saw it in the theater, I was a mess! 😭😭😭 Also, it just made my day that something I wrote reminded you of the magical genius of Hamilton! 😁
This is a fascinating, sober, and enlightening glimpse of your life, Christine.
It is certainly unique! But I'm glad that my reality can be enlightening, when to me it's just everday mundane.
Christine, I am in awe of all moms who can be the best moms they can be and still devote time to work or a passion. The perseverance, patience and love that is required is mind-boggling and humbling to behold. Thank you for this intimate portrait, friend.
Thanks, we are doing the best we can! Sometimes the patience is in short supply (especially when my children are driving me up the wall!) but hopefully the love still comes through!
I definitely feel you on this one! When my first was an infant I worked in residential for a year and then in an intensive outpatient DBT program for 2 years. I remember having to take phone calls about hospitalizing a suicidal teenager and putting my toddler in the stroller to push around outside, just so he was secured and entertained so I could try to manage the crisis. It was awful. That’s why I started working for myself in private practice- more flexible, I choose my hours and workload, and I work mostly virtually now. So much better and so grateful that it works for my family and still feels fulfilling for me professionally.
Oh I can picture that, literally having to push a stroller and talk on the phone is a struggle, let alone the emotional depths of it! I'm glad you have more flexibility now in private practice. That is some of why I started my spiritual direction practice on the side, in the hopes that it would be a better balance one day. And of course my 7 year old came in demanding snacks as one of my clients (on zoom) was in the middle of sharing something deep and crying! 🤦♀️
Thank you, Christine, for this lovely piece. Yes, I also still cut the grapes. And I wish I would know where to get an epi pen, just in case!
I have taken a work call on vacation on key west with roasters crowing loudly in the back ground. Some how I felt embarrassed for this set up 😇
Also I feel funny to not have much to juggle career and home as I left out much of the career part or it at least feels like it when being self employed. How could I even complain??
You have a career! You are a writer! Among other things! And not to worry, I can hook you up with an Epipen...
😍