As I start something new on my Substack and continue healing from trauma, I’ve felt like an imposter in my own life the past few weeks. Which leads me to question whether or not the world was created for me? Immediately after reading, my evangelical upbringing says this is complete untruth, setting us lowly humans up to be gods. What would you say back to this questioning (which surely reflects my current lack of self-esteem)? Thanks for sharing with so much compassion and vulnerability.
Christinna Joy, I just subscribed and look forward to reading your work. I know my IS is much worse as I'm processing something or healing from something (even from non-traumatic things, like a cold!) and you're doing something new all at the same time! It's no wonder IS is making it's presence known. I think the question you pose is why I am so drawn to the concept of the two pieces of paper. It seemed so audacious to me at first to believe that! I'm not sure I always do, but it's something I strive to hold onto. I suppose I'd ask another question back to consider, especially when self-esteem is low (which is a tough one, so be warned!) how does God delight in you? (Of course, you don't have to answer here, but something to reflect on). I find that too a tough question at first but it's one I've sat with and wondered. Also, as you start your new endeavor, I referenced a prayer/poem in my first post which may speak to you now (scroll down to the bottom for it) - https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/a-new-thing
Thank you so much, Christine, for your support. This question you pose actually makes me smile. It's much easier for me to consider, to answer, to believe. The answer which first pops to mind is that I dance, even though I can't. I don't have rhythm or grace, but I've learned to be in the body I have, to celebrate it, to live, to praise, through movement. Calls me back to when I was young, dancing in that evangelical church, like no one was watching.
Anyway. Thank you for sharing this prayer as well. I always take all I can get. ❤️
I cannot dance either, but have not yet embraced it the way you have! What a gift. Your answer combined with the original idea of the world created for us reminds me of this poem perhaps you know it -
I so love this post, Christine. I too experience the Imposter Monster :) There are some unique ideas here such as a the hype team and the 2 papers - I love those. And I love Kristin Neff's work as well. Probably the most helpful part of your post was reminding me of how human it can be to have this experience, not to mention how common it is. I suspect, ironically, that those who are most prone to experiencing imposter syndrome are most likely to be those who are most opposite of it - authentic, genuine, enough, and present to themselves (and anything else that can be thought of as "opposite" to an imposter) - in so many ways.
Imposter Monster! What an image! I talk about imposter syndrome so much, that once I texted a hype team member about it and my phone autocorrected to Pasta Syndrome. I found that hilarious and now will sometimes think of it as slimy spaghetti! Maybe now the flying spaghetti monster!
And your comment about the opposite makes me wonder about potential higher levels of empathy in IS sufferers. There's some new research out from MIT that says people with IS are actually more effective at work!
Grief can rock us to our core and make everything unbalanced. It's not surprising given all that you've endured that imposter syndrome is getting exacerbated in the midst of great suffering. And on top of that, I think IS is a life long thing, impacting is all the time in different ways.
Thanks for a great listen and read. I had to switch about 6 minutes in.
I have never considered what God would say. There is a long tradition of prophets saying no to God, “don’t choose me, I’m not good enough.” These guys are never let off the hook. gos insistence of their ability is what gets the prophets moving.
The WWMD? is quite controversial! When I said that aloud at the conference, I wasn't sure how it would go over, but it can be so true! I also love the saying that I've seen on mugs "I wish I had as much confidence as a mediocre white man!" 😜
This post was such a lovely blend of vulnerability and practical advice, thanks Christine. The two pieces of paper in the pocket really struck me. I would also sit comfortably with the "I am but dust and ashes" piece, but forget about "the world was created for me" piece. Love the power of those two phrases combined.
In one pocket, the paper says, “I am but dust and ashes.” In the other pocket is a piece of paper that reads, “The world was created for me.”
This was the first time I have heard of this sage advice. I will carry it with me in the exact form of the two love notes to myself in all interviews, presentations, and big moments from here on out.
Thank you so much for sharing your compassionate perspective around Imposter Syndrome with us, CVD.
Normalizing these isolating feelings makes them less daunting - almost silly!
The two pieces of paper is such a poignant reframing, isn't it? It does feel silly to suffer alone, so if we can suffer together, surely we can defeat this Imposter Syndrome nonsense! Thanks for reading and sharing.
When I’m suffering from Substack overload, I love being able to listen to audio when I don’t have time to read at the moment. While doing some drywall work I listened to you today. I joined Substack back in October of last year but didn’t post until January of this year. Main reason for delay: impostor syndrome. I really like your list and I heard something on a podcast that really helped my mindset. I’m not an impostor, I’m a beginner—I’m going to lean into being a beginner for a while. Thank you for this, Christine.
Oh I'm glad to know the audio was helpful! I may have to try out listening to posts because I very much feel the Substack overload! So much good content, so little time.
Your words remind me of what I heard in my son's classroom the other day and made a note about - https://substack.com/@christinedavies/note/c-54362826 (I thought it would embed here for easy viewing, but apparently not, still learning the ins and outs of substack!)
I love this so much. Thank you. It currently still impacts me to the point that I continue to struggle with (avoid) writing with any regularity. For some reason, I extra-loved the two pieces of paper tip. So much to digest here, feeling really grateful. 🙏🏼
It certainly comes up for me in my writing as well. I make a member of my hype team read each of my posts first and assure me they are not terrible before I will publish it! I love the image of the two pieces of paper too, so powerful!
I could write a whole separate post about how IS shows up for me in my writing! Even calling myself a writer feels rather audacious! Let me know what else you'd add to this list!
Great piece Christine. I’ve struggled mightily with imposter syndrome, it really slowed my career down for awhile 🥴 Similar to your experience, self-compassion was a game-changer. I also benefited immensely from learning a new relationship with my thoughts. Basically, my mind is going to be playing the “you’re not competent enough” channel a lot of the time, but I can turn down the volume and disregard it. Fake news! I also appreciate how you mention the impact of how women are socialized. I think it’s helpful to take into consideration that cultural and social component, because it suggests that nothing is “wrong” with an individual who is experiencing imposter syndrome, rather, we are raised to be this way (at least to some extent).
So much of this is deeply internalized, it is the water in which we swim! I appreciate your metaphor of turning down the volume. I might start saying "Fake News" to myself! And thank you for writing in depth on self-compassion and letting me link it here.
Most male clergy I have coached suffer from some form of imposter syndrome. Too frequently their version of "fake it till you make it" is acting with too much certainty and bravado. I started leading a workshop on not being enough where I ask people to imagine the value of not being enough. It simply goes with the territory of working in the spiritual realm. My workshop question is "What would improve in your ministry if you truly claimed not being enough?" People found lots of interesting answers, especially around empowering the gifts of lay people, encouraging dialog and a focus on finding the Hoy Spirit in the whole community.
I had a whole paragraph that I eliminated (because it was getting too long) about how I suspect percentages of IS in clergy would be higher if someone were to study it. There is such a connection between faith and works and productivity for ministry that doesn't help us here.
That is interesting to hear about your coaching clients. I was surprised by the recent research says rates in men are just as prevalent. Given your example, it seems like it may just present in different ways.
I can’t remember if I’ve told you about this already (or if I’ve written about it). I did my first triathlon of the season in March. When I got to the pre-race meeting, I looked around and saw a National Champion and two world champions and thought, “oh 💩 did I accidentally sign up for a pro race?” I did so much mirror work in my hotel before the race, looking myself in the eyes and saying, “my name is Kelsey Abbott and I belong here.” And of course, it all worked out great. I had a great swim, a great bike with the two world champions and didn’t lose anything on the run, totally showing that I belonged.
Amazing! One story that I almost wrote about here (but the post was getting too long...) is after doing a few sprint/olympics, I still wasn't calling myself a triathlete - as I felt that term was reserved for the pros, or at least people who did half IMs. Then I was talking to a (male) friend of mine, who called himself a triathlete after doing a sprint triathalon relay once, that he did only the run portion for and was like, heck no - I'm definitely more of a triathlete than him and he has no problem claiming it! 😜
I love that you “named your vulnerabilities”, especially IN a public setting! This is so humble and loving and helps us know we’re not alone. Just hearing your voice grounds me!
Thanks Karla. I know we all have these vulnerablities, so might as well create a community and share them together! Thanks for letting me share them with you all the time!
As I start something new on my Substack and continue healing from trauma, I’ve felt like an imposter in my own life the past few weeks. Which leads me to question whether or not the world was created for me? Immediately after reading, my evangelical upbringing says this is complete untruth, setting us lowly humans up to be gods. What would you say back to this questioning (which surely reflects my current lack of self-esteem)? Thanks for sharing with so much compassion and vulnerability.
Christinna Joy, I just subscribed and look forward to reading your work. I know my IS is much worse as I'm processing something or healing from something (even from non-traumatic things, like a cold!) and you're doing something new all at the same time! It's no wonder IS is making it's presence known. I think the question you pose is why I am so drawn to the concept of the two pieces of paper. It seemed so audacious to me at first to believe that! I'm not sure I always do, but it's something I strive to hold onto. I suppose I'd ask another question back to consider, especially when self-esteem is low (which is a tough one, so be warned!) how does God delight in you? (Of course, you don't have to answer here, but something to reflect on). I find that too a tough question at first but it's one I've sat with and wondered. Also, as you start your new endeavor, I referenced a prayer/poem in my first post which may speak to you now (scroll down to the bottom for it) - https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/a-new-thing
Thank you so much, Christine, for your support. This question you pose actually makes me smile. It's much easier for me to consider, to answer, to believe. The answer which first pops to mind is that I dance, even though I can't. I don't have rhythm or grace, but I've learned to be in the body I have, to celebrate it, to live, to praise, through movement. Calls me back to when I was young, dancing in that evangelical church, like no one was watching.
Anyway. Thank you for sharing this prayer as well. I always take all I can get. ❤️
I cannot dance either, but have not yet embraced it the way you have! What a gift. Your answer combined with the original idea of the world created for us reminds me of this poem perhaps you know it -
The Sacred Dance for Life by Hafiz
I sometimes forget that
I was created for joy
My mind is too busy
My heart is too heavy
Heavy for me to remember
that I have been
called to dance
the sacred dance for life
I was created to smile
to love
to be lifted up
and lift others up
O sacred one
Untangle my feet
from all that ensnares
Free my soul
That we might
Dance
and that our dancing
might be contagious.
Ah, yes! Thank you for sharing.
I so love this post, Christine. I too experience the Imposter Monster :) There are some unique ideas here such as a the hype team and the 2 papers - I love those. And I love Kristin Neff's work as well. Probably the most helpful part of your post was reminding me of how human it can be to have this experience, not to mention how common it is. I suspect, ironically, that those who are most prone to experiencing imposter syndrome are most likely to be those who are most opposite of it - authentic, genuine, enough, and present to themselves (and anything else that can be thought of as "opposite" to an imposter) - in so many ways.
Imposter Monster! What an image! I talk about imposter syndrome so much, that once I texted a hype team member about it and my phone autocorrected to Pasta Syndrome. I found that hilarious and now will sometimes think of it as slimy spaghetti! Maybe now the flying spaghetti monster!
And your comment about the opposite makes me wonder about potential higher levels of empathy in IS sufferers. There's some new research out from MIT that says people with IS are actually more effective at work!
This would be a fun image for a book!
Oooh, I'll have to think about that!
These are great tips! I especially liked #3 - the hype team.
I'm betting you have a great hype team!
I pay them well 😂
You have addressed multiple aspects of this all-too-common malady that I raise my hand as a fellow sufferer. Thank you for solutions!
Thanks for outing yourself as a co- sufferer! I'll be curious to hear if anything in the treatment plan works for you!
Rereading, I think I do all these things. Perhaps it’s a grief thing that imposter syndrome still rears its ugly head.
Grief can rock us to our core and make everything unbalanced. It's not surprising given all that you've endured that imposter syndrome is getting exacerbated in the midst of great suffering. And on top of that, I think IS is a life long thing, impacting is all the time in different ways.
Thanks for a great listen and read. I had to switch about 6 minutes in.
I have never considered what God would say. There is a long tradition of prophets saying no to God, “don’t choose me, I’m not good enough.” These guys are never let off the hook. gos insistence of their ability is what gets the prophets moving.
I like it!
Thanks for being part of my hype team and encouraging me to try recording!
And yes, the prophets are a great model for this! It reminds me of the saying, "God doesn't call the equiped, God equips those called!"
What a fantastic read!
I found the point about "What would a man do?" quite thought-provoking and uncomfortable because it's true.
I will remember that next time I'm hesitant about putting my hand up.
Thank you for sharing your own imposter syndrome in public - it's refreshing!
The WWMD? is quite controversial! When I said that aloud at the conference, I wasn't sure how it would go over, but it can be so true! I also love the saying that I've seen on mugs "I wish I had as much confidence as a mediocre white man!" 😜
There is power in naming! Thank you:). Hoping you’re well.
Yes, you're so good at naming the hardness as well in your posts!
This post was such a lovely blend of vulnerability and practical advice, thanks Christine. The two pieces of paper in the pocket really struck me. I would also sit comfortably with the "I am but dust and ashes" piece, but forget about "the world was created for me" piece. Love the power of those two phrases combined.
Thanks Emily, there is certainly power in vulnerability, but sometimes we need the practical advice as well!
Have two pieces of paper in your pockets.
In one pocket, the paper says, “I am but dust and ashes.” In the other pocket is a piece of paper that reads, “The world was created for me.”
This was the first time I have heard of this sage advice. I will carry it with me in the exact form of the two love notes to myself in all interviews, presentations, and big moments from here on out.
Thank you so much for sharing your compassionate perspective around Imposter Syndrome with us, CVD.
Normalizing these isolating feelings makes them less daunting - almost silly!
The two pieces of paper is such a poignant reframing, isn't it? It does feel silly to suffer alone, so if we can suffer together, surely we can defeat this Imposter Syndrome nonsense! Thanks for reading and sharing.
When I’m suffering from Substack overload, I love being able to listen to audio when I don’t have time to read at the moment. While doing some drywall work I listened to you today. I joined Substack back in October of last year but didn’t post until January of this year. Main reason for delay: impostor syndrome. I really like your list and I heard something on a podcast that really helped my mindset. I’m not an impostor, I’m a beginner—I’m going to lean into being a beginner for a while. Thank you for this, Christine.
Oh I'm glad to know the audio was helpful! I may have to try out listening to posts because I very much feel the Substack overload! So much good content, so little time.
Your words remind me of what I heard in my son's classroom the other day and made a note about - https://substack.com/@christinedavies/note/c-54362826 (I thought it would embed here for easy viewing, but apparently not, still learning the ins and outs of substack!)
Exactly! Nothing is finished. We’re all on this learning journey.
Amen!
I love this so much. Thank you. It currently still impacts me to the point that I continue to struggle with (avoid) writing with any regularity. For some reason, I extra-loved the two pieces of paper tip. So much to digest here, feeling really grateful. 🙏🏼
It certainly comes up for me in my writing as well. I make a member of my hype team read each of my posts first and assure me they are not terrible before I will publish it! I love the image of the two pieces of paper too, so powerful!
Loved this! IS has--and still does--keep me from writing. It's definitely something I'm working through. Your advice is spot on.
I could write a whole separate post about how IS shows up for me in my writing! Even calling myself a writer feels rather audacious! Let me know what else you'd add to this list!
Great piece Christine. I’ve struggled mightily with imposter syndrome, it really slowed my career down for awhile 🥴 Similar to your experience, self-compassion was a game-changer. I also benefited immensely from learning a new relationship with my thoughts. Basically, my mind is going to be playing the “you’re not competent enough” channel a lot of the time, but I can turn down the volume and disregard it. Fake news! I also appreciate how you mention the impact of how women are socialized. I think it’s helpful to take into consideration that cultural and social component, because it suggests that nothing is “wrong” with an individual who is experiencing imposter syndrome, rather, we are raised to be this way (at least to some extent).
So much of this is deeply internalized, it is the water in which we swim! I appreciate your metaphor of turning down the volume. I might start saying "Fake News" to myself! And thank you for writing in depth on self-compassion and letting me link it here.
Most male clergy I have coached suffer from some form of imposter syndrome. Too frequently their version of "fake it till you make it" is acting with too much certainty and bravado. I started leading a workshop on not being enough where I ask people to imagine the value of not being enough. It simply goes with the territory of working in the spiritual realm. My workshop question is "What would improve in your ministry if you truly claimed not being enough?" People found lots of interesting answers, especially around empowering the gifts of lay people, encouraging dialog and a focus on finding the Hoy Spirit in the whole community.
And thanks so much for the thoughtful reflections. I'm saving to send to some folks who need it!
I had a whole paragraph that I eliminated (because it was getting too long) about how I suspect percentages of IS in clergy would be higher if someone were to study it. There is such a connection between faith and works and productivity for ministry that doesn't help us here.
That is interesting to hear about your coaching clients. I was surprised by the recent research says rates in men are just as prevalent. Given your example, it seems like it may just present in different ways.
I can’t remember if I’ve told you about this already (or if I’ve written about it). I did my first triathlon of the season in March. When I got to the pre-race meeting, I looked around and saw a National Champion and two world champions and thought, “oh 💩 did I accidentally sign up for a pro race?” I did so much mirror work in my hotel before the race, looking myself in the eyes and saying, “my name is Kelsey Abbott and I belong here.” And of course, it all worked out great. I had a great swim, a great bike with the two world champions and didn’t lose anything on the run, totally showing that I belonged.
Amazing! One story that I almost wrote about here (but the post was getting too long...) is after doing a few sprint/olympics, I still wasn't calling myself a triathlete - as I felt that term was reserved for the pros, or at least people who did half IMs. Then I was talking to a (male) friend of mine, who called himself a triathlete after doing a sprint triathalon relay once, that he did only the run portion for and was like, heck no - I'm definitely more of a triathlete than him and he has no problem claiming it! 😜
😂 Many, many years ago, I read something that said that to call yourself a triathlete, you just have to have done a triathlon in the last 365 days
I better get one booked for this summer then!
Keep me posted. Maybe we can race together!
Yes! I'd love that. I might need to remember how to run first!
I love that you “named your vulnerabilities”, especially IN a public setting! This is so humble and loving and helps us know we’re not alone. Just hearing your voice grounds me!
Thanks Karla. I know we all have these vulnerablities, so might as well create a community and share them together! Thanks for letting me share them with you all the time!