What a perfect poem to accompany soul exhaustion. The line that got me is "the tide you never valued has gone out". If only we could see the lack of value in some of the things we think are important before that tide goes out it would likely save some suffering.
This is such an important essay for us to read right now, thank you Christine. Like you, when I am feeling it that much I need to be silent - no podcasts or phone calls or distractions.
Yes, when I rediscovered that poem recently, it aligned perfectly with what I (and I suspect many of us) are going through. May you have the silence your soul needs this upcoming week!
Dear one, may the writing of all these golden nuggets of hope soothe and encourage your own weary soul. Please be kind to yourself. I'm lifting you up in prayer even as we speak.
Thanks Kayla, I'm always a little embarrassed to read my own work, so it helps knowing that you enjoy listening! (maybe one day I'll learn how to edit my phone chirping and other background noises out of it)
The last line of the poem is what I try to remind myself and my
Clients, this is temporary. This time of the year I find so many feel this way, after the start of the school, holidays coming up, it takes a toll on people.
Soul Weariness for me can occur when holding too much. Too much responsibility, alone. I will literally hand over people, things and challenges to my Higher Power again and again. When I pray I even hand my prayers over to the edges of the Universe. As a high sensation processing soul it’s mandatory that I use my handing it over muscles. ooof. Life is a lot.
Cynthia, thanks for sharing what soul weariness can look like for you. I can certainly connect with that feeling of "holding too much." I hope you can continue to build up those handing it over muscles. It is so hard to do.
Oh that's a great question! I think it can be overlapping and possibly synonymous. I think the main difference is the spiritual element of soul weariness.
My quick glance at psychologytoday.com defines burnout as "a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress."
I would of course add the term spiritual to the exhaustion mentioned above. Much of the burnout literature is looking at one or two stressors (ie. work, caregiving, etc) so it's easier to point to what that is. I think the tough part of soul weariness is that it's not just about those one or two things, but also the state of the world, one's relationship (or lack thereof) with the divine, how we make meaning of suffering, etc.
thanks for weighing in, Christine. i appreciate your adding the element of the spiritual domain. they do seem to overlap like venn diagrams, but also soul weariness contains some of it's own unique qualities.
And I can identify with the aspect of soul weariness that it doesn't always relate to a defined cause/root. sometimes even knowing that is the case is counterintuitively comforting in a culture where we want to have a defined cause in order to "fix" it as quickly as possible to shortcut the discomfort (or at least that's been true for me in the past).
I love the idea of a venn diagram! When I was writing this I was also aware with overlap these symptoms with those of depression or dysthymia (a low grade depression that used to be in the DSM when I was a therapist but has since been removed).
The fixing issue is a tough one, because there can be relief that comes with a diagnosis. But unfortunately with something like this, there's no quick fix. I was just saying to my husband yesterday "My mental health would be fantastic if I could spend an hour each day working out, meditating, being outside, eating nutritious food (that I didn't cook), drinking enough water, getting enough sleep and have no work or family stress! Oh and maybe not read the news!
Many great lines and phrases in this poem. “Learn to linger around someone of ease,” unwept tears, the silence of stone. My soul reminded me that my mother died 20 years ago today. Thanks for sharing this poem.
It amazes me, Christine, all that you do and all that you carry each day. So glad you’re able to acknowledge your intangible needs.
I agree, "Learn to linger around someone of ease" is a great invitation. I had a separate paragraph written on that, but the post was getting too long, so I took it out. It can be hard to find those people of ease, but so many of them exist on substack (including you!)
Thank you for sharing about the anniversary of your mother's death. I hope you are able to be gentle with yourself on this day as you remember her. I'd love to know her name if you're willing to share it here.
This reminded me of Dan Allender’s assertion that “weariness is really about this core struggle to hope despite the circumstances and our limitations, and not so much about being tired.” (- Leading with a Limp, p.30)
Yes, absolutely this! I've also been thinking of you lately as I've been talking to people living the sandwich life, and some had never heard that term before.
This is so good and I hope it reaches many weary souls. Just this morning I ‘dropped some tears’ A couple of days ago I felt the blahs. Couldn’t really put a handle on it, but now I recognize it as a weariness happening in my soul. So many, including myself, need to take time to rest our souls. Thankful for you. God Bless!
Thanks Gayla for your kind words. I hope your soul weariness passes quickly and you find some rest. For me, it was helpful to put a name to this blah-ness.
So grateful for your words right now. You are definitely not alone. ❤️
Thanks Amanda. I figured a few of us might be in the same boat this season!
I really needed this. Thank you.
I'm so glad this spoke to you today! Thanks for reading and commenting!
What a perfect poem to accompany soul exhaustion. The line that got me is "the tide you never valued has gone out". If only we could see the lack of value in some of the things we think are important before that tide goes out it would likely save some suffering.
This is such an important essay for us to read right now, thank you Christine. Like you, when I am feeling it that much I need to be silent - no podcasts or phone calls or distractions.
Yes, when I rediscovered that poem recently, it aligned perfectly with what I (and I suspect many of us) are going through. May you have the silence your soul needs this upcoming week!
Dear one, may the writing of all these golden nuggets of hope soothe and encourage your own weary soul. Please be kind to yourself. I'm lifting you up in prayer even as we speak.
Thank you, Linda. I'm so grateful for your support. Fortunately, I think my soul weariness is coming to an end, but it can be a doozy!
Oh gosh yes it can.
I love the advice- open yourself up to
miracles.
Isn't that a great line? I hope you find all sorts of small miracles today!
Sage advice for an all too common malady. 🙏
Thank you for reading Leah. It is such a common malady and I don't think we talk about it enough!
Agree.
Simply beautiful! Especially listening to you read it!
Thanks Kayla, I'm always a little embarrassed to read my own work, so it helps knowing that you enjoy listening! (maybe one day I'll learn how to edit my phone chirping and other background noises out of it)
The last line of the poem is what I try to remind myself and my
Clients, this is temporary. This time of the year I find so many feel this way, after the start of the school, holidays coming up, it takes a toll on people.
Yes! It can feel like forever when we're in it, but it's just a season. I love this reminder!
Soul Weariness for me can occur when holding too much. Too much responsibility, alone. I will literally hand over people, things and challenges to my Higher Power again and again. When I pray I even hand my prayers over to the edges of the Universe. As a high sensation processing soul it’s mandatory that I use my handing it over muscles. ooof. Life is a lot.
Cynthia, thanks for sharing what soul weariness can look like for you. I can certainly connect with that feeling of "holding too much." I hope you can continue to build up those handing it over muscles. It is so hard to do.
This post meets me squarely where I am in a wilderness season. Thank you. Saving this one to return to. 🙏🏼
Jonathan, I'm sorry you're in this soul-weary space too, but glad for the company and the knowledge that we're not in this alone.
i really love your take on soul weariness, Christine, and John O'Donohue's poem is a certain salve for the soul.
I'm wondering if you feel there is an intersection between soul weariness & burnout?
Oh that's a great question! I think it can be overlapping and possibly synonymous. I think the main difference is the spiritual element of soul weariness.
My quick glance at psychologytoday.com defines burnout as "a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress."
I would of course add the term spiritual to the exhaustion mentioned above. Much of the burnout literature is looking at one or two stressors (ie. work, caregiving, etc) so it's easier to point to what that is. I think the tough part of soul weariness is that it's not just about those one or two things, but also the state of the world, one's relationship (or lack thereof) with the divine, how we make meaning of suffering, etc.
thanks for weighing in, Christine. i appreciate your adding the element of the spiritual domain. they do seem to overlap like venn diagrams, but also soul weariness contains some of it's own unique qualities.
And I can identify with the aspect of soul weariness that it doesn't always relate to a defined cause/root. sometimes even knowing that is the case is counterintuitively comforting in a culture where we want to have a defined cause in order to "fix" it as quickly as possible to shortcut the discomfort (or at least that's been true for me in the past).
I love the idea of a venn diagram! When I was writing this I was also aware with overlap these symptoms with those of depression or dysthymia (a low grade depression that used to be in the DSM when I was a therapist but has since been removed).
The fixing issue is a tough one, because there can be relief that comes with a diagnosis. But unfortunately with something like this, there's no quick fix. I was just saying to my husband yesterday "My mental health would be fantastic if I could spend an hour each day working out, meditating, being outside, eating nutritious food (that I didn't cook), drinking enough water, getting enough sleep and have no work or family stress! Oh and maybe not read the news!
i can so relate, Christine!! 💜
Many great lines and phrases in this poem. “Learn to linger around someone of ease,” unwept tears, the silence of stone. My soul reminded me that my mother died 20 years ago today. Thanks for sharing this poem.
It amazes me, Christine, all that you do and all that you carry each day. So glad you’re able to acknowledge your intangible needs.
I agree, "Learn to linger around someone of ease" is a great invitation. I had a separate paragraph written on that, but the post was getting too long, so I took it out. It can be hard to find those people of ease, but so many of them exist on substack (including you!)
Thank you for sharing about the anniversary of your mother's death. I hope you are able to be gentle with yourself on this day as you remember her. I'd love to know her name if you're willing to share it here.
Her name is Marguerite.
Such a beautiful name, I will be thinking of you as you continue to grieve Marguerite.
Thank you so much for this!!
The struggle is real, especially this time of year. And perhaps even more so for clergy moms!
This reminded me of Dan Allender’s assertion that “weariness is really about this core struggle to hope despite the circumstances and our limitations, and not so much about being tired.” (- Leading with a Limp, p.30)
Oh what a fantastic description that gets to the core of weariness. Thank you for sharing it with me and I'll have to add that book to my TBR list.
Thank you, Christine. Maybe this is what I've been talking about when I say "I live in the Land of One Darn Thing After Another."
Yes, absolutely this! I've also been thinking of you lately as I've been talking to people living the sandwich life, and some had never heard that term before.
It's as if we don't hear about it until we're in the midst of it! Wish them well for me ♥️
This is so good and I hope it reaches many weary souls. Just this morning I ‘dropped some tears’ A couple of days ago I felt the blahs. Couldn’t really put a handle on it, but now I recognize it as a weariness happening in my soul. So many, including myself, need to take time to rest our souls. Thankful for you. God Bless!
Thanks Gayla for your kind words. I hope your soul weariness passes quickly and you find some rest. For me, it was helpful to put a name to this blah-ness.